


The end

by imagreenbee



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Falling In Love, Kissing, M/M, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27715337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imagreenbee/pseuds/imagreenbee
Summary: This is a short fic loosely based on the song "Call your girlfriend" by Robyn
Relationships: Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr
Comments: 8
Kudos: 66





	1. Call your girlfriend

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short fic loosely based on the song "Call your girlfriend" by Robyn

The 2020 season was coming to an end, having started after what felt like an eternity from the 2019 season. What was also coming to an end was Carlos’ contract with McLaren. Lando tried not to think about it throughout the season, taking every day as it came, enjoying the little time they had together during race weekends and the secret nights they could sneak in whenever possible.

The secret nights had been going on for some time, Lando couldn’t pinpoint when they started. It was maybe one of those late nights playing Fifa that he couldn’t get enough of, so he would suggest watching a film after they had played for hours to stop Carlos from leaving. One of those nights Carlos had fallen asleep. Lando didn’t wake him. Instead, he let him sleep in his bed, while he could hardly close his eyes the whole night from his heart bumping fast in his chest. Then Carlos started staying over on his own accord. Was it just for convenience? So that he wouldn’t walk back to his hotel room or drive back to his own place while he was warm and sleepy? Maybe, but Lando welcomed it.

Lando’s memories are fuzzy and he can’t recall exactly how one of those nights they had gotten a little too close, he looked at Carlos’ lips, Carlos’ eyes darted to his own. They were impossibly close. Lando was half expecting Carlos to pull back, brush it off, pretend that nothing happened. He remembers his lips almost touching Carlos’ but he couldn’t muster the courage to do it. The next thing he remembers is Carlos kissing him hard, like this was something he had been deprived of for months, years.

Their nights together remain a secret and even though Lando knows Carlos has a girlfriend, every time he sees Carlos on his doorstep, the thought of her is pushed out of his brain. He has him when he wants him, damn the consequences. No one else exists when he has him. But that’s not reality. It gets harder and harder to ignore reality, it gets harder and harder to let him go when he finally leaves. And Lando wants more.

_Call your girlfriend_

_It's time you had the talk_

_Give your reasons_

_Say it's not her fault_

_But you just met somebody new_

_And now it's gonna be me and you_

“Carlos..? What are we doing?” Lando slowly coming to his senses after countless intoxicating nights together.

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“I mean..me and you, is this..? What is this?”

A brief silence follows.

“I don’t know..it’s just..us.”

Lando is starting to get uncomfortable now, the reality of it all slowly hitting him. The world doesn’t end when Carlos leaves him in the early hours of the day. He goes back to his place, calls his girlfriend and tells _her_ she loves her. He flies back to _her_. That’s a real person that Carlos is lying to. And maybe she doesn’t know, but maybe she feels it deep down, that things are not the same.

“Call her” Lando surprises himself with how bold he’s being. “Tell her you can’t be with her anymore.”

“Lando..”

“This is not fair to either of us.” Lando presses on. “You know this isn’t a one-night thing anymore and you can’t keep lying to her.”

_Don't you tell her how I give you something_

_That you never even knew you missed_

_Don't you even try and explain_

_How it's so different when we kiss_

“Lando..it would kill her. What am I supposed to say to her?”

“Tell her someone else will come along, that you weren’t meant for her.”

Carlos sighs, kisses his forehead and pulls him closer. He gives him a tight hug before he steps out that morning. It lingers a little more than usual. It feels final.

Lando is not sure he’ll see him again.


	2. It stays on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn’t hear from Carlos between that morning and the next race weekend, so Lando figured it was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song "Stays on" by Metaxas feels relevant, if you would like to listen to it while reading.

He didn’t hear from Carlos between that morning and the next race weekend, so Lando figured it was over. He asked for too much and lost it all. He almost felt guilty for asking at all. He didn’t have the right to ask for anything. He was nothing but a fling, some temporary company until Carlos could go back to his real relationship.

But there’s no way of escaping him for now, or the aftermath of his request, so Lando just accepts it, tells himself that there are only a few races left and then he can pretend this never happened. Next year Carlos will be in another garage, dressed in red, making him easy to spot, and avoid if it comes to that, and Lando can start over. He has it all sorted in his mind: he’ll act professional, do his job and stick to the absolutely necessary interactions with his teammate.

At least that’s what he thought because once he gets to the paddock and he spots that majestic head of hair, his heart clenches and his brain becomes foggy and the only thing he can think of is where to hide! He thankfully is able to dart into his driver’s room and close the door to compose himself. The weekend goes on with Lando managing to escape being left alone with Carlos, and Lando is becoming good at escaping. He catches Carlos looking at him inquisitively a couple of times but Lando simply looks the other way and avoids him altogether.

But this was too easy wasn’t it? Lando thinks when he hears footsteps coming his way as he realises he’s the last person left in the debrief room on Saturday night, distracted by data and videos of previous race starts. And of course it’s Carlos. Lando stares in mild panic because Carlos is standing at the door and he’s trapped. He hurriedly stands up and makes to gather his things when Carlos speaks.

“Lando..please don’t go. We need to talk.”

“It’s late and..um..I need to..Jon..yea, Jon is waiting for me, just texted me..” and Lando runs out of the room, brushing by Carlos. His smell lingers in Lando’s nostrils but he quickly clears his head and gets to his hotel room without looking back.

Lando is not sure why he’s avoiding Carlos anymore. What could he want to talk about? He’ll either want to explain why he can’t break up with his girlfriend or try to talk Lando into continuing what they’ve been doing. Those are the only two possibilities, right? Lando can’t bring himself to think of the other possibility, the one where he’s happy and he gets what he wants. Because these things don’t happen, right? He chases any thoughts of Carlos out of his head and tries to sleep. He just wants to get through the race tomorrow and then allow himself to think of anything else.

Sundays are always busy and he manages to get through the day without having to think of anything other than the race. He doesn’t miss Carlos’ sad stares. _But why is Carlos sad?_ Lando allows himself to wonder after the race.

He settles in bed in his hotel room ready for an early night when he hears a timid knock on his door. He thinks about not answering it and pretending he’s already asleep. But whoever it is, persists. This time the knock is a little louder. Lando slowly gets out of bed, hesitating a little and hoping whoever it is goes away.

“Lando?” he hears his teammate’s voice coming from the other side of the door. 

Lando sighs but goes to open the door. At least they can get it over with, whatever it is. At the worst, he could use a familiar touch for the night, Lando thinks but then is immediately ashamed of himself because he told himself there would be no more of that.

Lando opens the door, looks at Carlos, who seems exhausted, and walks back in the room without saying a word. He sits back on his bed and waits as Carlos slowly comes in and looks at Lando with a defeated look in his eyes.

The Spaniard sits in the armchair in the corner of the room and opens his mouth seemingly not knowing exactly what to say.

 _Good_ , Lando thinks, at least he’s not the only one confused by all of this.

“You’ve been avoiding me” Carlos decides to say.

“I was busy..” Lando quickly dismisses the statement.

“Lando..don’t lie to me.” Carlos continues but Lando is getting angry now.

“Carlos, what am I supposed to do? I can’t keep doing this, not to myself, not to her. And I’m not going to repeat myself. You clearly have been quiet since that night. You made your choice, it’s not me! You need to let me move on.”

“Lando..I—”

“Look, I get it, you needed someone to get you through the lonely nights, I was there, it was convenient. No harm feelings, it’s ok. Let’s just go back to being colleagues, professionals. And you can go back to your real life.” And Lando feels proud of himself. He got through this without tears. He feels strong.

“Lando..I can’t. I don’t want to go back to anything else but you. I did make my choice but it was never a choice. It was always you.” Carlos’ voice is trembling now and his eyes are gleaming with tears threatening to start falling. 

“What are you saying Carlos?” Lando dares to hope.

“I flew back home that same day I left your house. I went straight to her” Carlos explains and Lando’s heart stings a little with the thought of her. “I said I couldn’t be with her anymore, I tried to explain that my heart wasn’t in it anymore, but she already knew. Apparently it was obvious I wasn’t 100% there.” 

“Why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you say anything?” Lando says feeling slightly annoyed that he could have avoided all those sleepless nights.

“I wanted to tell you face to face. But then you avoided me and I thought you changed your mind. That you didn’t want me anymore, you didn’t want us.” And the tears are now seriously trying to escape Carlos’ eyelashes.

Lando can't stand this anymore, he can't watch Carlos be this sad. Not when the reason is him. His only wish was always for Carlos to be happy, to be able to give him everything he needs to be happy. 

Lando quickly moves to where Carlos is sitting and kneels in front of him, taking his hands in his. “Carlos, I would never change my mind about you. You are all I want, you and only you. You and me together for real. Is that what you want too? Is that what you are saying?”

“Yes.” Carlos says weakly, tears falling from his eyes now but a smile forming on his face. “Will you have me? Do you want to be with me, for real?”

“Yes Carlos, yes!” Lando reassures him while wiping Carlos’ tears away and cupping his face with his hands. Lando kisses Carlos softly, careful not to make any sudden moves, part of him scared that this is all a dream and if he isn’t careful he’ll wake up with a jolt and find himself alone in his bed. But Carlos kisses him back and it’s too real, his wet cheeks under his hands, Carlos’ lips moving against his own. 

Lando pulls back, looks at Carlos, who still looks exhausted but happy, “Will you stay?” he asks like it’s the first time.

And Carlos stays, that night and every night from then on.


End file.
